My Story
I tell my story so that you will know that whatever your situation is or how many unhealthy patterns you repeat, there IS HOPE FOR REAL CHANGE AND A BETTER LIFE!
I spent my childhood growing up with two younger brothers in a military family. My father was an officer and hospital administrator and mother was a stay at home mom. They both came from a small farming community in southern Idaho. We moved every one to two years so my best memories are of the time we spent each summer in Idaho with my grandparents. I worked hard in school, taking classes through my lunch period and several correspondence courses so that I could graduate from high school early. At the age of 16 I graduated from high school in Fairbanks, Alaska, and headed to Provo, Utah to attend Brigham Young University. I did the "right" thing and instead of going on to pursue the medical career I dreamed of, I got married and was pregnant with my first child by the time I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Interior Design at the age of 19. Things went down hill right away as I realized I had married a very domineering, patriarchal sort of man. My father had never prevented my mother's freedom to pursue all of her varied interests so this was a terrible shock to me. Four years and two more children later, I decided that I just couldn't take the emotional and spiritual abuse any more and breaking all tradition, I left. I became an EMT and landed a job at a local hospital as an ER Clerk. While there I met another man with a common background and interests and we decided to make a life together. I was very happy at the beginning. Soon, however, I realized that my previous marriage was a vacation compared to the nightmare this one became. The abuse began with pushing and shoving when he didn't get his way or I committed some slight offense and soon escalated to beating me. The cycle of abuse continued with repeated occurrences followed by make up times. I was hopelessly trapped in the cycle of domestic violence. During the next six years, I was beaten and choked repeatedly even suffering a broken jaw and tailbone. Other incidents included spitting on me, biting my nose, drenching me with water and locking me outdoors in the middle of the night dressed only in a night gown in the middle of winter. I was also threatened with a hot iron and a hammer. On another occasion he placed a knife to my head and chest and then stabbed me in the thigh. Ultimately I was threatened with firearms including a rifle and a 357 magnum pistol put to my head and the trigger pulled followed by the promise of "a real bullet the next time." I attempted to leave three times and each time he would convince me that he was sorry and he would change. I knew my first marriage had failed and I couldn't face the thought of failing again. Six years later and with the addition of three more children, I got the nerve to ask him for an amicable divorce. He took off his belt, beat me and dragged me outside by my hair and said that if I ever left he would kill the children, then me, then himself. A neighbor witnessed this incident and called Social Services and they subsequently contacted me. Social Services helped me escape this marriage with a protection order and an immediate divorce was granted by the judge. How did I ever get into these situations? I went to counseling, attended courses and read books, etc. I understood the pattern of domestic violence but just couldn't fathom that I would allow myself to be treated in this way. With six children, working three part time jobs in Panguitch, Utah, no child support, two more failed relationships, and little hope, I knew that my Interior Design degree was worthless. I told the children if we were going to be this poor I might as well go back to school. I went to nursing school and I immediately applied to the Physician Assistant Program at the University of Utah. I was accepted to the program and with the help of a National Health Service Corps scholarship, I was able to attend. While there I met my husband, a truly good man and the love of my life. He has stood with me and had my back through thick and thin. I enjoyed my years as a Physician Assistant and due to my past experiences it made me more perceptive to patients' emotional issues. However, I always wanted to be able to help in a deeper more holistic way. I just didn't know how. My husband and I both noticed that even though I felt as if I was no longer affected by my past and living a very stable life, often my reactions to common situations were sometimes extreme. Finally, while on vacation in Hawaii, I decided to go to a Shamanic and Energy healing session. I didn't know what to expect and it was certainly different than anything I had ever experienced in my medical training. BUT: After one session my life changed! During the session, old agreements about how I deserved to be treated that were embedded in my soul were removed and replaced with a new positive confidence. Pieces of me that were trapped in the past were returned to me and I felt a new "wholeness" that I had been missing for so long. I decided then that this was my true path!
If you would like further information or would like to schedule for a session, please contact me by text or email and I will get back to you. |
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